How lucky and how very blessed you are that you both are in love not only with each other but with our Beloved Lord and Master Avatar Meher Baba.
Although you haven't seen the Lord physically, the finger of His Grace has touched your hearts and awakened in them love for Him. What good and great fortune in one lifetime!
Your anxiety to please the Lord by living an ideal married life in accordance with His wish is indeed very touching. The ideal, however, is not arrived at overnight. The true meaning of married life unfolds very gradually, and with it, very, very gradually, the aspirant gets a hold over biological urges.
Be patient. Let your love for her, hers for you, and the love both of you have for the Beloved Lord, dispel all tension, confusion, and desperation in your married life. Remain happy and contented with the blessings of His Love upon you both. He has blessed you with His Love so make the best of it in this life. Waste not your precious time analyzing the meaning of words of the _Discourses_ and in devising ways and means to make your married life compatible to the sexual/biological urges according to the written word. If you continue to do so, you will be engrossed and entangled all the more in words and thoughts of sex, whereas your beloved Lord and Master wants you to remember Him wholeheartedly and get lost in Him rather than His words. Why should one give such importance to sex and celibacy? There are many other things more
important than this given in the _Discourses_.
Now that you have asked me to give my say on your sex problem -- if there is any problem at all -- I would say that Beloved Baba would want you both to live a natural and happy married life. Recalling similar incidents in the lives of Baba-lovers during his physical presence, Baba would want you both to continue to use contraceptives under the circumstances as long as having children is out of the question and as long as you both do not indulge in sex indiscriminately. Let there be no doubt about your using contraceptives, as Beloved Baba would have no objection to your using them.
Beloved Baba would want you both to love each other and be loving and gentle to all; He would want you to be simple, honest, and natural in your married life; He would want you to please Him in your everyday life by remembering Him and loving Him utmost with child-like simplicity and purity of heart; He would want you to know undoubtedly that _for an aspirant on the Path_ His words are most beneficial, _but for His lover_, who loves Him and lives for Him, loving Him whole-heartedly is of the utmost importance. The Lord of Love becomes the slave of the love of His lovers when such whole-heartedness is dedicated to Him without questioning, and without expectation of material or spiritual reward or gain.
LETTERS FROM THE MANDALI, Vol. 2, pp. 10-11
ed. Jim Mistry
Copyright 1983 AMBPCT